Saturday, November 18, 2017

Baby #4

Stan and I couldn't be happier to announce our little surprise! So blessed and excited for BABY #4!

I really thought that my family might be complete before this little surprise happened. I had made peace with the fact that I was the mother of three beautiful boys and I felt so incredibly blessed. Life has started to get easier in many ways. The youngest is currently 4 and has been potty trained for a long time. My three sons are so easy and fun, we are at such a great time of life.

The end of summer, our family went down to Vegas to stay a few days in a vacation home with friends and family. We had such a fun weekend. We swam everyday, played games, and had lots of good food and company. I was relieved because I thought maybe my period would start but it didn't and I was grateful that I didn't have to worry about it. When I got home, I was only a few days late, but I thought maybe I would buy a pregnancy test just for fun to see. Over the last four years I have purchased qutie a few becasue I'm irregular so I get curious and test often. This time the test came back positive. I could not believe it. I did not think this was going to happen. I didn't tell anyone, I thought I would most-likely miscarry because of my Crohn's Disease. I just put it on the back burner and focused on normal life and the million of other things that were happening like going back to work, getting the kids back to school, helping Stan start his new business, and trying to settle into a new home and neighborhood. It has been so busy. I kind of convinced myself that I wasn't pregnant at all. 

After this last visit to see the doctor, this has now changed for me. This baby is real. I saw him very clearly during my ultrasound. I saw him spin and flip around as they looked to see the gender. I finally was able to connect to this little guy, and I felt him. I felt his love, his excitement to come into our family. I knew that he was and has always been apart of my eternal family. I cannot wait to meet this sweet spirit, and love him as best as I can as his mother. 

As I was trying to come up with a way to tell the world that I was pregnant and that I was having my fourth baby boy, I found this song. It spoke to me. In some way I feel like I've already held him, seen him smile, heard his cry, and he has already changed me. "The things that used to matter, they don't matter to me... I could never count all the ways you change me baby!" 

"When I hold you in my arms love, something changes it’s the strangest feeling the things that used to matter they don’t matter to me. When I see you and your smiling how my heart aches, so full it’s about to break, you make me believe in love. I could never count all the ways that you change me baby, every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue when I’m with you! When I hear you and you’re crying it resonates dear and the place I didn’t know was there, you make me believe in love. I could never count all the ways you change me baby, every day the sky is a deeper shade of blue when I’m with you!"

I truly believe in eternal families. I believe that this little boy is coming because this is apart of God's plan for us. I don't wish he was anyone else than himself. I am honored and thrilled to become a mother of four boys.

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